YOU HURT ME YOU ARE DEAD TO ME
Letting others know how you feel as the emotions arise is like a colon cleanse for your soul. I was going to say, for your psyche but thought against it.
Your lady needs to express what she feels, you need to hear it and take the next step. When I say she needs to be heard, I mean really listened to until the conversation is over. This means good eye contact and no distractions from work, the television or the phone for example. When she has been short changed in any way she will notice it in a big way and feel the injustice done her. The appropriate next step after not listening is to make amends for being either inconsiderate or just being an ass. Then start over and listen.
I have feelings that get hurt and I occasionally hurt my wife’s feelings. If she does not tell me how she felt from my exchange, then I may do it again. The trouble is that I don’t want to do it again, duh! I want to know if I did her an injustice and I don’t want to know at the same time. I do not like making amends and work hard on not creating hurt feelings. I mentioned that I want to know because if I am unable to take responsibility she will continue to feel hurt. This can lead to a resentment that can and will eat away at the intimacy of the relationship.