THROWN OUT TO LIVE

The 2nd time I was thrown out was the best thing that could have happen to me. The 2nd time got me into treatment. Before treatment I was up curled up in a fetal position on the bed against the corner of the room. I did not move around much for around 2 weeks. I did not bathe, go to work, eat. I had beer and cocaine, and thought it was all I ever wanted. I eliminated everything positive including a pay check. I drank and snorted, and became so paranoid I couldn’t move. It seems I had to lose everything and be alone so there would not be anybody else to blame for my addictive behaviors. I had to be put in a place where I either went on to the bitter ends, as they say, jails institution or death. Worse yet is that I would have lived on the streets. The first time getting thrown out got me in trouble but I was still using drugs. The second time I ended up in the fetal position and it got me into treatment. Trouble with me was that when I got out of rehab I had shut down. I was not using anything, was going to work and bringing the entire pay check home. As far as her and me it was rough as I was giving almost all of my attention to our kids. After almost a year of that she threw me out again for the third time. This was also the best thing that could have happened to me.