The addict/alcoholic has fun until it isn’t fun anymore and they use and drink to cope. The addict believes they are still chasing having fun even after the fun has ended and their lives have been turned upside down. The sense for addicts is that they are only hurting themselves and nobody else. That is what is commonly called denial in treatment circles. If the addict denies hurting anyone else they do not have a reason to stop. Somewhere along the line the high is gone and the need is present. The denial of that being true is very strong because after all, we just want to get high. The good time high changes and the quest changes too, because now the want is more of a need and the quest is now an obsession. When the guilt of hurting others is beyond their ability to deflect, it has them stuck. The addict/alcoholic does not want to feel so they continue doing what they have been doing. Now they are like the combat veteran because they do not want to feel. The traumas are some different but the results are the same. I believe women have it the worst because they sacrifice their bodies and intimacy is gone forever. There is also the many children women have either lost to protective services or haven’t lost yet and are living with them. Women can bring more guilt with them and therefore have a much more difficult time getting clean and sober. Once these women become clean and sober they are literally eaten up with guilt. This makes it so tempting to go back to taking something to keep the emotions subdued, at least while they are high. This leads to a most certain death of spirit, mind and body.