GETTING MY OWN WAY

Getting back to guilt trips, there are some I have personal experience with using on my ex-wife mostly. When having what we call an argument about behaviors the past seems to have a way of coming up. That is what I call laying a guilt trip on someone. For example; being in a heated discussion with my ex-wife and I bring up the past. It is not about who has brought the past up but instead, the reason for bringing it up. Of course the reason is to win the discussion, which for me was about old behaviors verses current behaviors. I want to win the discussion and not getting anywhere, so I am not above bringing up the past to win. I know it has nothing to do with the present topic of discussion and I don’t care. Bringing up the past to win an argument is about causing pain therefore creating the other person to feel guilty as a goal. Bring up the past also shows the past is still in the present in the mind of the person bringing it up. What I mean by that is that whatever was brought up is still a sore spot for the person bringing it up. This sore spot I would call resentment and needs to be addressed like grief needs to be processed.