Updated: Aug 25, 2021
When we asked the person to leave we were manipulating them in a way that could also be confusing to them. By not telling the exact truth we have caused them to feel confused, irritated and mistreated. We did not want this so we tried to avoid the truth. Now I say “trying is failing” and this makes a point but not my original point. We do not want to hurt and therefore we do not want to hurt others. The effort we put into not hurting them is exactly what hurts them. We made an attempt to manipulate the situation to satisfy our own wants and it did to them what we were trying to avoid. Trying is failing. By being honest with our feelings, thoughts or emotions we can have a clear conscience and the other person has a choice to be hurt or not. The way we tried to handle it did not give the other person a choice and we felt guilty for not being honest with them. Then they respond to us by giving us their honest opinion of what just transpired and we have no defense except to apologize for, basically not being honest.